Wednesday, July 17, 2013


The mind is a strange and wonderful object... yes an object because it's a physical entity, it exists, it's a shape, it can be moved, poked, prodded, even destroyed...
Yet the mind also exists in a sphere so maddeningly elliptical that it can just keep going around and around, no end.

Scientists have already proven that the male and female minds differ; that the ways in which they process information is completely opposite. Logic versus emotion, multi-tasking versus one thought flow, remembrance of dates and names... each sex does it different.

That said, it doesn't mean one is doing it better than the other. Oh sure there are people out there that say women are too emotional, men too insensitive, however those difference can create a cohesion that would be missing if our minds processed everything in the same way. The unique difference amongst human beings is that our mind, or brain if you will, is capable of intelligence we haven't even scratched the surface of discovering.

Do I always enjoy my father's straight forward approach to problems, do I always want to hear his exasperation when I feel I can't do something and he sits me down and says "Just do it. You have to do it, that's all there is too it. Get up and get it done."
I mean sometimes I want to scream and yell about the beating my body has taken due to health, sometimes I want to crawl into my bed and just let my body die, free of pain, free of medications, free of doctors and hospitals and most importantly free of the constant worry that besieges me, the worry that I will never feel healthy again. When I start to ponder this state of being... when I start to go down the road into "I can't do this..." I call my father.

It is the fact that his brain doesn't process this overwhelming task ahead of me as an emotional one but rather as a physical one that I call him. Sure I have friends, sisters, a mother and grandmothers that would let me wallow in my unease, that would let me spill it all out and scream and cry...they'd be great too.
They would hold my  hand, they'd probably hug me and they would sit and listen. What they wouldn't do though is tell me to stop and take stock of myself. They wouldn't see it as my dad does... I have a health problems, it's big, it's really big, I could die from it in a short time or I could just do what the doctors tell me and give everything I have to getting better, to trying to feel better, to trying to reverse some of the ills that have destroyed me.
He doesn't let me sit in the overwhelming factor or the possibility that what the doctors tell me may not work, instead he tells me to just do it, to listen to them exactly and try it, not to cry about it, not to feel bad about what has happened but rather to move forward and make the best of a tragic situation and most of all to have patience, perseverance and persistence!

Woman's minds don't work in packets like that. However, there is one area of my mind that is so astute, so sure that sometimes I don't know what to do with it... While men are great in the situations where emotion wants to take hold of and run with it, a woman can look at things going on around them and pinpoint almost exactly when something isn't right. A conversation of the easiest sorts can lead to a woman finding out her husband is cheating on her, a strange furrow on the brow of a doctor alerts her to the fact that the weird feeling she had inside her heart was something serious and when it comes to children, mothers do in fact have eyes in the backs of their heads.

I call it intuition.... and it's rarely wrong. I can sense things long before they happen...however, that instinct doesn't usually tell me what to do. It doesn't stop those feelings of unease from turning into serious problems...however, it does keep me alert to the fact that things are changing and it gives my mind a chance to start sorting things out. Call it the "What If" button if you will... my mind is able to play through various scenarios and how they might be handled...

Lately, my intuition senses a change--- is it the fact I'm starting college again after a year off? Is it that I know my health is failing and I have some major issues to tackle, is it the changes I've seen around my workplace? Perhaps it's that my child is growing up, that she's approaching tween years and I can no longer say "Oh it'll be years before she hates me...."

I'm not sure how to approach this intuition this time though... mostly I just sit and wait for the tree to come crashing through the window but at forty something, I think I'm a little too old to be sitting in wait...
However, right now all I can do is wait. I'm prepared though, somewhat. I know things are changing, I know something is going to give and I know in my mind that this time I am prepared. I won't fall down.

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