As you travel this journey called life, you will meet thousands of people in your life. Yes, just on an everyday normal journey, between your family, your schooling, your work, your children's school, your neighborhood, shopping, doctors, paying bills, and going to the post office... everywhere you venture out too there will be other people.
Some of these people may surprise you with kindness, support, and love. Some
of these people may become your family. Others may hurt you deeply or hurt your
children. Some will be rude and cause you to have a bad day. Sometimes you'll
be surprised by the way someone else acts.
Most of all you will learn what it takes to keep friendships and families
alive and going! You will learn the power of forgiveness and what it means when
you just cannot find it in you to let go of a pain so deep it almost destroys
you. Hopefully, you will have support to get you through those tragic
You will also learn disappointment and fake friendships. You will encounter
people that say one thing and do another. You will discover that people you
believe in may let you down. You will realize that people will not be like you.
People will not value you the same things that you do.
I've been on this earth for forty one long years. I have a very big heart
and I love very deeply. I've found that most people are not this open with
their feelings. I've found that many people are cynical and they doubt far more
than they believe.
I've found that old friends are usually the best and the truest but new ones
can become dear to your heart. I've found that judgments are everywhere. I've
found that I've been judged without someone really knowing anything about me.
I've found that an open heart is hard to find!
My life has not been easy. Do I think it's been harder than other people's?
Yes, I admit in some ways I know it's been harder than other peoples but I know
there are people who have it worse off than me. I know that I have a family
that is so strong and so loving that I wouldn't be here today if not for them. I
know that the TRUE friends I have are always there thinking of me, wishing me
well and crying through the rough spots.
I know most of all that those people that judge me, and with mere words
sometimes hurt me…in the end have NO bearing on my life. Those people who tell
me how to control my diabetes without knowing what I do or what I've already
done aren't really listening to what I'm saying. I know that those people are
the kind of people I don't need around me.
In my last years of life I want to be surrounded by love. I want to hear
laughter. I want to live with a gusto that I don't feel physically but my heart
sings its joy. I want to be free of pain. I want to just live and feel free. I
want to let go of the evil that betrayed my past and caused this place I live
in now. I want happiness, no judgment, good memories of good times gone by and
I want to say Good-Bye to the things that cause me anger.
It's time to start cutting the ties that bind me to emotional pain. It's
time to find ways to enrich the years I have left. I don't have a lot of time
to wonder why people hurt me. I don't have a lot of time left to wonder if you
were really my friend. I don't have the time to wonder why you'd tell a
diabetic friend to lose weight when she'd already told you what was wrong with
her system. I don't have patience to argue with you about politics, religion or
I care about people. I care what happens to my friends. I care what's going
on in their lives. I may not be who YOU think I should be BUT I am exactly who
I WANT TO BE. IF that is going to cause you problems then I am sorry for you
but I will no longer feel bad because I am who I am.
I will surround myself with the people that want to be surrounded by me.